25th September 2020

 I feel so much more confident after this week. 

Archie had his third piano lesson and came out telling me how much he was enjoying it and that he really liked his teacher because she's so nice and fun. I sent her a message to tell her what Archie had said, and she said he was really great to teach and 'really understands music'. 

We also attended our first Science workshop, which is run by a Science teacher (of 25 years) who also home educated his two sons. One is at uni now and one has just started 6th form. It was at his house and he had experiments set up in each room downstairs. 

Archie got to:

• use magnifying glasses to project images onto a piece of paper to find the focal distance
• use a microscope and look at rabbit spinal cells and pine stem cells
• wiring using different materials to determine whether they were conductors or not
• crushed a drinks can by heating up water inside it and plunging it into cold water once it had turned to steam

He also made friends with four new children, one of which he really liked (J). And I got to speak to his Mum who is an experienced home edder (her eldest is 15 and just started an art course at junior college). 

I didn't realise how much I needed it! I felt so reassured that we were doing the 'right thing' and she told me about other groups that happen in the area too. Archie said he'll go to American Football if J does! I am so impressed. 

He was so tired before we went and he refused at first, but he said he was so glad he did go because he would have missed out otherwise. 

We also went for brunch together and talked about how things were going. Archie said he still feels like he's not doing enough, but that he also doesn't want to do anything either. I said I think that's normal, and eventually he will 'de-school' and discover what he is passionate about (as well as gaming!). 

I also had the idea that he could perhaps follow the Scouts badge awards without actually joining the Scouts (it's not for him). We had a look on the website and I printed a couple of the badges - the Skills Challenge and the Creative Challenge. Hopefully that might provide some gentle structure and give us some stuff to do when the weather isn't great. 

We also received a letter from 'What's in the Box'. A local artist put a call out for families to help program a robot so we completed the first stage, which is answering some questions in a manual, and we will post that back this week. It got Archie thinking about what it means to be helpful which was interesting. 

Archie is still really enjoying gaming, cooking and just having a chat about anything and everything. 

12th September 2020

Archie and I have had a good couple of weeks. The main thing we've been trying to do is get him back into a 'normal' sleep pattern, as he was pretty much nocturnal for a while. He seems to have finally achieved it today, waking up to his alarm at 10am and getting out of bed. He told me it feels good to get up at a normal time.

Since my last post, we have been to The Beaney in Canterbury as a friend of mine works there and has curated an exhibition about the history of Canterbury Pride. We met my Dad on his lunch break from work and went together. Archie was most interested in getting drag queens' pronouns wrong which led to a chat about assuming peoples' gender and deciding it was best to go with 'they' unless they tell us otherwise. 

On our way there and back Archie introduced me to Prince EA, who is an American spoken word artist who has made a few YouTube videos about the education system. I think these really helped Archie to clarify what home / unschooling is and he seemed proud to be on this journey. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqTTojTija8 

My only issue is Prince EA talks about the education system's purpose being to produce 'robots' which I don't really like as a term. I made the point to Archie that people can still think freely and for themselves if they have been educated by the state, and home schooling doesn't make him better than anyone else, we've just decided on a different route.

We also watched a video specifically about unschooling by a an unschooled kid which was really helpful to us both... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqkYQ-3etxE 

Archie also had his first piano lesson this week and seemed to really enjoy it. A friend of mine that I met through a local comunity cafe is teaching him. We have ordered a John Thompson book on her recommendation and Archie is to practice his 'middle C' this week. 

Archie has talked about feeling like he is not doing enough. I asked him what he thought he should be doing, and he said he feels bad for not doing formal things like workbooks or sheets, but he also really doesn't want to do them. We talked about how that is just because that is what he has got used to, and unschooling allows time for him to get out of that way of learning and rediscover what he is interested in. I said that getting into a normal sleep routine and listening to his body was all part of it - so he was doing stuff without even realising it.

I also reminded him of a day last week when I came in to wake him up and he had sketched his Xbox controller when he got bored. That's what it's all about, doing things as the inspiration strikes.

I know how he feels though - I have felt worried about not giving him things to do or being structured enough, but I am trying to keep in mind that unschooling is a way of life, keeping curious and learning through experience. I am here and we have an open dialogue about how things are going and if there is anything he needs. I think he would really like to make new friends and see his own friends more, so that is something that's in my mind quite a lot at the moment. 

3rd September 2020

Archie and I have decided to home ed. He has been off school since the beginning of March due to C-19 and was due to start secondary school last week. I was nervous about him starting secondary school while having to social distance, wear masks and stick to his 'pod', but most of all I was unhappy with the language the school was using when talking about dealing with children who didn't stick to their rules - 'punishment' was used quite often and I think, for new and quite nervous year 7s, having such a harsh word banded around at this time wasn't really fair. I accept they need to be strict, but admit it got my back up quite a lot.

I have considered home ed for a long time. Archie had a few issues in infant school which almost led me to withdraw him at that point, only for the fact I couldn't actually afford to leave my job to take care of him myself full-time. I hated feeling like I didn't have a choice in how my child was being educated and treated while at school, but at the time my husband and I didn't earn nearly enough for me to leave my job. I managed to reduce my hours as much as possible and we persevered. Strangely, the opportunity has arisen through this strange and unusual time, and now he is older I feel more comfortable leaving him for a couple of hours to work, if need be.

A few months ago I asked him how he was feeling about going to secondary school and he was, for the most part, looking forward to it. I explained I was nervous about him starting so soon (September definitely didn't feel far enough in the future to be safe from C-19) and told him that if he wanted more time, we could home ed if he wanted to. He said he would think about it. A few months went by and I asked him again how he was feeling about going back to school and he said he thought the only reasons he wanted to go back was to see his friends and go on the bus on his own - but actually school stresses him out and he'd like to try home ed. 

So here we are, giving it a go. 

This week has been fine. I am conscious of not pushing too much on him and I would like him to learn to find what he is passionate about. I am aware that he has been given everything he needs to learn by someone else for the last 7 years and I think it will take some time to 'unschool'. 

He told me he would like to learn how to animate, so we downloaded a program for him to practice on. He has also practiced his keyboard quite a bit, without prompting from me. It's interesting to see the things he does off his own back.

I have asked that we keep a record in a week-to-view diary. Just a few lines each day to note what he did. He is refusing to write, it's like the thought fills him with dread which is such a shame because he has a really great imagination and way with words. I said I would fill it in then. I also asked him to download the GoodReads app and set himself a reading goal, and again he hates that idea. I am quite upset that reading and writing are so far off his radar for now, but I hold out hope he'll return to them one day as I think he could get so much out of them.

For now, I am going to see where he leads us. He is a bit nocturnal again right now (an unwelcome gift of lockdown and too much gaming) so we are taking it easy, and whilst I feel a bit twitchy (are we doing enough, am I being too lax etc) I am trying to remember that everyone learns at their own pace, and this journey is about him discovering himself and following his own interests. I just need to learn to trust the process.